Feelings and Such

Sometimes I think I’d be better off purging myself of emotion, like Mr. Spock from Star Trek. Become a creature of pure logic. That philosophy is quite attractive to me, to be honest, but it does have its limitations.

I enjoy feeling love, happiness and joy. At times I enjoy feeling depressed, sad, and even fear (under controlled conditions, such as a movie). I love movies that make me emotionally invested in the characters. These are few and far between. The closest one in recent memory was Love Actually. This movie inspires me every time I watch it. In some fashion, I can relate to almost every character in the film. This is a rare thing.

Of course, The Devil Wears Prada is also a good one for getting emotionally invested in the characters. Yes, I like romantic comedies and so-called “chick flicks.” What of it? I make no apologies for my interests. Nor should I.

“Chick flicks.” I’ve always disliked that term. Just because a film, or book, is targeted to women, doesn’t automatically mean that men can’t enjoy them, too. For that matter, I’ve always disliked the appellation “man” as it applied to me. I’m not even sure what makes a man a man. A penis? An outlook? A set of ideals and opinions? A mode of thought? Or a combination of these things? Looking at that list, I only qualify for the first one, I have a penis.

If the sole criterion of Man is a penis, I think that sells men short. I think being a “Man” is a set of thoughts, or thought patterns, and behaviors. We see this very clearly when shopping

Most men I know dislike shopping for shoes or shopping with their wives/girlfriends. I enjoy shopping for shoes and doing so with my wife. If this is a criterion for manhood, then I am not a man.

Most men know what they want from a store. They walk in, find the item(s), pay for them, and leave. I enjoy looking around and considering other items. If this is a criterion for manhood, then I am not a man.

If liking sports, particularly football, is indicative of manhood, I am not a man. Women like sports, too.

If objectifying women as sex objects is and indicator of manhood, I am not a man.

If not showing emotion, except anger, in public and not talking about emotions is an indicator of manhood, then I am not a man.

So, if the penis is not the only indicator of manhood, and all these other criterion are needed, well, I guess I’m not a man.

So, will I become more like Mr. Spock? No. I enjoy my emotions, and while I’m reserved in public, I don’t mind showing emotions other than anger. I enjoy shopping, particularly with my wife. And I enjoy romantic comedies and female targeted movies. I love a good tearjerker.

If this makes me less of a man by societies standards, then I’m less of a man and I will gladly accept the role. I’d rather be myself and hated, or disregarded, than live as something I am not.

About WonderGoon

WonderGoon is seeking enlightenment and questions everything.
This entry was posted in Biology, General, GLBT, Personal, Philosophy, Science, Social Observations and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Feelings and Such

  1. Skatha says:

    With all due respect, Master Goon, I don’t think you’ve seen the most recent installment of the Star Trek series, or you would understand that Vulcans do not purge themselves of emotion, but rather strive diligently to control them. Even as a young adult, Spock lashes out rather extra-ordinarily violently and has to be restrained by other officers, so they definitely have emotions, but for the most part, they keep them more under control than a normal human being. Wouldn’t we all like to be that in control of our emotions? I know I would. But at the end of the day, these emotions are what makes us human – and not Vulcan – and what makes up the sum of who we are. There are days I wish I could turn my emotions of and on like a faucet, but I can’t. I have to embrace everything as best I can (both good and bad) and rely on my friends when necessary to keep me afloat.


  2. WonderGoon says:

    I have seen the most recent incarnation of Star Trek, Skatha. The idea that Vulcans have emotions that are tightly controlled is not a new one. The reason I chose the phrasing I did was so people who aren’t Star Trek fans would have a frame of reference. (Most Non-Trek fans think Spock has no emotions at all).

    In any event, thank you for your comments.


  3. Skatha says:

    *hits you with a noodle* Non-Trek fans don’t know shite. ๐Ÿ˜›


  4. Skatha says:

    Oh and I hit you with this kind of noodle http://www.flickr.com/photos/communicatrix/4699897145/ so I have a head start when I run from you. ๐Ÿ˜›


  5. storydad says:

    Having no emotion would destroy who you are. At your core, you are mercurial, you feel everything deeply and those feeling change swiftly and strongly. It’s probably your most dominate personal trait. As with most things, this has both its positives and negatives, but removing it would make you someone else entirely.

    As to what makes someone a man… I think this is a poorly considered phrase that gets tossed about. As it is used, it is interchangeable with being a woman, other than gender identity itself. When people say ‘be a man/woman’ what they are really saying is be an adult. It has nothing to do with interests like sports or shopping, and really has nothing to do with dangly bits or oggling habits.

    The traits associated with being a man are things like honesty, integrity, reliability, honor, responsibility and independence. The ability to take care of ones own business, hold oneself accountable for their own actions. The ability to stand up unflinchingly for your beliefs. To understand that in fact there are consequences to ones actions and to do what one feels they must and accept those consequences.

    They are also the key traits associated with being a woman. The implied comparison is not about gender, but maturity. Sexual identity and activity also come with growing maturity, and so the 2 things are often associated with one another. Men take care of business, and most oggle women to one degree or another. Women take care of business, and most …um… Like girly stuff…I guess…. The point is that shopping habits, emotionalism, hobbies, interests or even color preference has nothing to do with stepping up to ‘be a man’. The pronoun changes based on the dangly bits, but the dangly bits don’t earn you the pronoun.


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