Dear WeCANKnow.com,
Surprise, Bitches!
It’s now the morning of May 22nd and you’re still here. I’m sure that, by now, you’ve already released a statement stating why God/Jesus didn’t return and Rapture you all away, as you predicted.
In truth, I don’t care why you’re still here. All I know is that I was going to grab your widescreen plasma TV and your Hummer and now I can’t. (I was going to sell the Hummer and buy a blu-ray player and some porn, but nooo you had to go and ruin my plans by still being here).
I truly hope you nitwits have learned from this. I doubt it, seriously, but I truly hope you just go away.
It really is best for everyone if you shut up.
The House of Goonery 
You kill me, Goon.
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I try to be amusing here at the House. I’m glad I succeeded in this case.
*bows*
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