How to Recognize a Hack Writer

First off, what is a “hack writer?” According to Wikipedia, it is the following:

Hack writer is a colloquial and usually pejorative term used to refer to a writer who is paid to write low-quality, rushed articles or books “to order”, often with a short deadline. In a fiction-writing context, the term is used to describe writers who are paid to churn out sensational, lower-quality “pulp” fiction such as “true crime” novels or “bodice ripping” paperbacks. In journalism, the term is used to describe a writer who is deemed to operate as a “mercenary” or “pen for hire”, expressing their client’s political opinions in pamphlets or newspaper articles. So-called “hack writers” are usually paid by the number of words in their book or article; as a result, hack writing has a reputation for quantity taking precedence over quality.

To which I would add:

A hack writer is a writer who relies on gimmicks and shocking moments, such a vomit jokes or showing people vomiting for humor, to carry a plot.

I’ve noticed a trend in today’s television and movies. There are an awful lot of puking scenes these days. Honestly, I’ve had enough of them. A puking scene ruins an otherwise good film. A recent example is Get Him to the Greek starring Russell Brand. This movie would’ve been a fantastic film. It is, however, marred by almost constant vomit jokes, pictures of people vomiting, and scenes of people vomiting. These vomit scenes/jokes ruined this film. Ruined it dead.

Seriously, if you, as a writer, can’t carry your plot without using a vomit scene, then quit being a writer and go do something else because, clearly, you have no talent.

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